How I Found Satisfaction…
As my birthday nears, I’m reminded of the many fails I had as a kid. One, I was 7 asking my mother for a twin. I thought twins were the coolest things ever. I thought moms could make them at will. I was PISSED when she told me I couldn’t have one. Two, I encouraged a surprise party for my birthday.
I have always liked surprises. I rarely get them, partially because I’ma spy who figures things out. The other part is they never get planned. Probably because folks know I’ma spy.
However, I surprise the sh!t outta people, when I can. I like scaring people in dark hallways, also. Anyways…I used to ask my parents to throw me a surprise party. They would respond, ‘you’re defeating the purpose.’ I thought they were just trying to throw me off. They weren’t. I didn’t have a surprise party.
I would talk to my friends about how much I LOVED surprises. They would act uninterested. I thought, ‘they’re trying to fool me while they plan.’ They weren’t. I didn’t have a surprise party.
Finally, when I got to the drinking age, my desires for a surprise party turned into me desiring birthday shots. I got plenty of those. I found satisfaction in birthday shots. There’s nothing like telling the bartender that it’s your birthday, and him doubtingly asking for your ID to only be proved wrong.
His surprise turned out to be the surprise I needed. Cheers for another birthday.
wtf lmaooooooooooooooooooo
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